Dec 10, 2008
In a bid to clear up some space in the shed, I have decided to auction off my Trojan Horse. No, I'm not talking about a virus, I'm talking about a 2 metre wooden horse, custom made by yours truly and my father-in-law, Rob Tapper.
The trojan horse was custom designed to infiltrate border security at a NZ military base, and it succeeded in style. To be honest, I don't think the border guard at Hobsonville Airbase had heard the story about the trojan horse - we got straight through, no questions asked.
A trojan horse is a great way to arrive at a party. The video above goes some way towards explaining why you need a trojan horse.
Perfect for parties
- Load the horse onto a trailer
- Park up outside the party
- wait.
- Soon enough, someone will notice a large wooden horse parked outside.
- They will be thinking to themselves - "There's no way that fat bastard would fit into that thing" and conclude that it's safe to bring it inside. Just like .exe email attachments from unknown senders, your victims will fall for your clever trap.
- An army is gathered to drag the horse inside the fortifications, using the generous length of rope attached to the horse.
- Once inside, you can storm the gate and clear the path for your Spartan friends.
You can use it for...
Arriving late to a party used to be fashionable, but that's got nothing on arriving in a Trojan horse. That aside, the kids love playing on the horse, you can easily chuck a few toddlers in the inner compartment or under the body and take them for a ride. While I was testing out the wheel mechanism I took it for a quiet stroll down the street - you are guaranteed some great sideways looks from people driving past!
Technical specs:
- It's approx 2 metres tall, and 2 metres long.
- Spacious compartment holds a 120 kilo fat person.
- Custom design, modelled to resemble the horse of Troy.
- Solidly built - the plywood adds extra strength to the structure, and the back legs are solid wood (where the bulk of the weight is sitting).
- Good, thick towrope included.
- Is affectionately named 'Archippus', meaning 'Master of Horses'.
The horse has served me well, and I hope he may serve a new master just as proudly.
You can buy this unique piece on Trade Me - be quick.
7 Comments
Rick - Dec 12, 2008
Brilliant! I hope you infiltrated the military base on good terms :)
That'd look mean sitting in the corner of a tech support firm.
Reynold - Feb 18, 2009
I like it. I see some promise in the area of street theatre. I wonder whether you'd be willing to sell the plan used.
Harry - Sep 18, 2009
Did you ever manage to sell the horse? You never say.
- Apr 28, 2010
Price?
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That horse looks awesome. How long did it take you and your father-in-law to make it?